I can't believe it's getting dark around half 7 already and i can see brown leaves all over the pavements. Friday before last I was in a t-shirt and baking alive in the hottest sunshine we'd had all year. I've not got S.A.D but sometimes the turning of the leaves depresses me. usually because of its association with being back at school or college through my youth and this time of the year just having an inherent sadness about it. My best friend Kiera always cites autumn as a time for change and I'm always inspired by that attitude. I don't know what changes are in store for me really, but change has been on my mind a lot lately.
I haven't updated in a while due to work commitments and band commitments. Not The band the commitments but you get my meaning..
My august was largely spent worrying about work and actually being AT work. Very little time for fun or socialising as my free time was dedicated to preparing for the recording of the new Fifty Caliber Smile (myspace.com/fiftycalibermsile) EP which is kicking off recording this week. That, and i move into my new flat in the middle of Edinburgh this weekend which is a source of excitement and trepidation. It'll be cool to be nearer to the centre of things but at the same time, I have to actually behave more responsibly than usual. With any luck I'll rise to the challenges of being a grown up without too much trouble.
Another reason for the absence of posts is simply due to me being unable to articulate what's going on in my head a lot of the time. Its been a long time since my head was this jumbled up with stuff, both personal and academic so its been more difficult to get across what's going in. My usual sources of confusion continue to be as confusing as ever, although they insist that there's been a shift and I'm now in the driver's seat. I hardly feel like i am, in all honesty I just think "who's flying this thing?" most of the time.
In fairness, musical things are also a source of concern but also excitement right now. My band with Kirstyn Knowles (myspace.com/kjkband) has a new drummer kicking off tonight and the EP with FCS promises to be a complete monster. Going forward, these are sources of excitement and i should put conflicts and confusion to the back of my head.
It may be the case that the changes around the corner aren't going to be ones around me, but changes in myself. I can't depart too radically from the template, but i was told last week that there's some things i really should change, from several quarters. Maybe the first thing is that i should listen to people instead of blindly following my own path and seeing where it gets me?
Its like Sam Cooke said... (no, not, "I was born in a little tent")
Monday 8 September 2008
Friday 1 August 2008
Cuts and bruises
Its been a pretty eventful week. Well, not hugely eventful, but enough has happened to warrant mention here. I'm surprised I can actually process the information considering how frazzled my brain is due to complicated rhythmnic structures, testing circumstances and draining rehearsals, as well as nights out that should have been avoided.
This facility for writing is useful as the few people who read it can keep up with what i'm doing who don't get to see me that often or I don't speak to much. In that regard, its pretty handy, people can get a little bite-sized glimpse at what's going on. So i'll try and avoid pseudo-intellectual analysis of huge existential issues (even though i've had at least one deeply involved conversation on the matter this week) and instead focus on the facts.
Things I did this week.
Band practice with Fifty Caliber Smile on monday where we recorded the demos for the tracks which are to be included on our next EP. Our previous EP had 3 full band, balls to the wall rock tracks and a pair of simple acoustic numbers. This time round we're aiming for 5 full band tracks which are more epic in scale and scope with interesting arrangements. The demos were tight and sound like a good means to solidify what we want to achieve.
Tuesday night, further demo action with the Kirstyn Knowles band, a more stressful affair than i'm used to with that particular group. A song we wrote collectively required a new middle 8 before demo-ing which proved a chore, but the rewards were clear to see when we finished it. We also demo'd the formative stages of a tune i'd come up with the main musical part for so it was rewarding to hear that reach something resembling a structure. It should be done within a week.
Wednesday held work and a night out. One was slightly more enjoyable than the other and for fairly obvious reasons. IE, at work i'm by myself and don't have to face large groups of people. I wasn't hungover yesterday but i did feel seriously bleak for most of the day. Fortunately, an evening spent writing complex rhythmnic arrangements for a Fifty Caliber Smile tune was pretty full on and took my mind off things.
And today, i have work. Kicking off at 5 and on til midnight, working at some point over the next 4 days every day. Thankfully, i happen to quite like the place I work and enjoy being there, regardless of what people may say.
Cuts and bruises? The cuts are pretty self explanatory, i got on the wrong side of a beer bottle on sunday, proving i was unable to open it. Nice.
Bruises? Well, they go hand in hand with cuts. Seemed like a nice title.
This facility for writing is useful as the few people who read it can keep up with what i'm doing who don't get to see me that often or I don't speak to much. In that regard, its pretty handy, people can get a little bite-sized glimpse at what's going on. So i'll try and avoid pseudo-intellectual analysis of huge existential issues (even though i've had at least one deeply involved conversation on the matter this week) and instead focus on the facts.
Things I did this week.
Band practice with Fifty Caliber Smile on monday where we recorded the demos for the tracks which are to be included on our next EP. Our previous EP had 3 full band, balls to the wall rock tracks and a pair of simple acoustic numbers. This time round we're aiming for 5 full band tracks which are more epic in scale and scope with interesting arrangements. The demos were tight and sound like a good means to solidify what we want to achieve.
Tuesday night, further demo action with the Kirstyn Knowles band, a more stressful affair than i'm used to with that particular group. A song we wrote collectively required a new middle 8 before demo-ing which proved a chore, but the rewards were clear to see when we finished it. We also demo'd the formative stages of a tune i'd come up with the main musical part for so it was rewarding to hear that reach something resembling a structure. It should be done within a week.
Wednesday held work and a night out. One was slightly more enjoyable than the other and for fairly obvious reasons. IE, at work i'm by myself and don't have to face large groups of people. I wasn't hungover yesterday but i did feel seriously bleak for most of the day. Fortunately, an evening spent writing complex rhythmnic arrangements for a Fifty Caliber Smile tune was pretty full on and took my mind off things.
And today, i have work. Kicking off at 5 and on til midnight, working at some point over the next 4 days every day. Thankfully, i happen to quite like the place I work and enjoy being there, regardless of what people may say.
Cuts and bruises? The cuts are pretty self explanatory, i got on the wrong side of a beer bottle on sunday, proving i was unable to open it. Nice.
Bruises? Well, they go hand in hand with cuts. Seemed like a nice title.
Saturday 26 July 2008
Patterns
I have to write and work quickly. I'm not going anywhere and i don't have anything more pressing to do, save for maybe putting fresh strings on my SG, but I have to write quickly to get all the ideas straining at the tethers inside my head into some fixed form.
Because i've been thinking about patterns.
Patterns fascinate me. I like things being in a form, no matter how disparate or intangible it may at first seem. I'm preoccupied with our own place within patterns and how we fit into systems that are not of our own design. Although i'm not exactly a devoutly religious person, whenever i've considered the notion of creation, my favourite theory (though not one i staunchly believe in) its that of a creator with a design. Its my favourite because we're then able to marry the notion of the big bang with the religious idea of God being the impetus behind said bang of bigness which then led to a PATTERN for the genesis of all that came beyond. That's pretty cool. As i've said before, there are wiser men than I who can ruminate upon the human condition and how we behave as a species, but there's something captivating about our behaviour being taken out of our plans by some broader force, some guiding ideal that only creates for us the illusion that we are acting of our own volition. I guess to some degree we'd all like to hand over the reigns to the intangible to guarantee that for 5 minutes we could be absolved for our behaviours.
Even in the mundane world I'm starting to observe patterns. Its obvious that music is made up of patterns, but i've discovered a newfound superstition surrounding numbers this week. I've never had a lucky number, because despite my occasional belief that I'm sometimes part of somebody else's scheme, i believe i have some control over my destiny and ultimately my actions and therefore superstition has no place in my jurisdiction. However, the numbers pointed out to me as relevant were 2 and 3, obviously fairly common in their occurance and subsequent multitude BUT, the more you look the more you see them. I mean, there's ascending tricolons and triumverates and of course the double entendres and 2's company...
But even little things like my band, Fifty Caliber Smile's newest song..The Cycle (obviously, cycles being patterns in and of themselves) but the guitar parts are arranged in places in Triplets...groups of THREE notes crammed into the space of TWO.
Me? I was born on the 21st of the THIRD month...which i realised when mulling this issue over on the number THREE bus home.
Late 60s blues rock powerhouse Cream perform a cover of a song entitled Born Under A Bad Sign...which due to the array of threes arranged against me seems to be the case.
Its like sesame street...this blog was brought to you by the letter F and the numbers 2 and 3. The source of this numerically based superstition claims 2 to be a harmonious number and 3 to be dischordant...i'd hate to think that some association with 3 has tainted my very essence and i must forever be a black sheep...
Its weird that the band my colleague and friend Antonio introduced me today base their whole musical approach on numbers (Math-rock band Battles) as well as the irony found in the fact that the person who validated my decision to continue blogging my way is a subscriber to the axiom "life is long and things happen" : a topic which she and I have discussed at length, also in terms of cycles and circles and people passing in and out of one anothers' lives and re-instating each other in different capacities. I guess that's just part of my enjoyment of the notion of patterns, the inherent harmony that they breed. Its like monopoly, you must inevitably pass Go and find yourself in a familiar square. More than once i've looked around and felt i was back at square one...but new patterns are always forming and existing ones tend to shift. Kaleidoscopes, y'know?
Despite my pseudo-cod-philosophising on how things fit together, people should look around at the people they surround themselves with, the way their own behaviour makes their life go in circles, the situations they find themselves in. There's patterns in what we do, whether we chose to see or accept them. Personally, I accept them for what they are and sometimes take comfort in sometimes letting a cycle come back round again.
Its good to hand over the reigns from time to time.
Its good to pass go and collect £200...
Because i've been thinking about patterns.
Patterns fascinate me. I like things being in a form, no matter how disparate or intangible it may at first seem. I'm preoccupied with our own place within patterns and how we fit into systems that are not of our own design. Although i'm not exactly a devoutly religious person, whenever i've considered the notion of creation, my favourite theory (though not one i staunchly believe in) its that of a creator with a design. Its my favourite because we're then able to marry the notion of the big bang with the religious idea of God being the impetus behind said bang of bigness which then led to a PATTERN for the genesis of all that came beyond. That's pretty cool. As i've said before, there are wiser men than I who can ruminate upon the human condition and how we behave as a species, but there's something captivating about our behaviour being taken out of our plans by some broader force, some guiding ideal that only creates for us the illusion that we are acting of our own volition. I guess to some degree we'd all like to hand over the reigns to the intangible to guarantee that for 5 minutes we could be absolved for our behaviours.
Even in the mundane world I'm starting to observe patterns. Its obvious that music is made up of patterns, but i've discovered a newfound superstition surrounding numbers this week. I've never had a lucky number, because despite my occasional belief that I'm sometimes part of somebody else's scheme, i believe i have some control over my destiny and ultimately my actions and therefore superstition has no place in my jurisdiction. However, the numbers pointed out to me as relevant were 2 and 3, obviously fairly common in their occurance and subsequent multitude BUT, the more you look the more you see them. I mean, there's ascending tricolons and triumverates and of course the double entendres and 2's company...
But even little things like my band, Fifty Caliber Smile's newest song..The Cycle (obviously, cycles being patterns in and of themselves) but the guitar parts are arranged in places in Triplets...groups of THREE notes crammed into the space of TWO.
Me? I was born on the 21st of the THIRD month...which i realised when mulling this issue over on the number THREE bus home.
Late 60s blues rock powerhouse Cream perform a cover of a song entitled Born Under A Bad Sign...which due to the array of threes arranged against me seems to be the case.
Its like sesame street...this blog was brought to you by the letter F and the numbers 2 and 3. The source of this numerically based superstition claims 2 to be a harmonious number and 3 to be dischordant...i'd hate to think that some association with 3 has tainted my very essence and i must forever be a black sheep...
Its weird that the band my colleague and friend Antonio introduced me today base their whole musical approach on numbers (Math-rock band Battles) as well as the irony found in the fact that the person who validated my decision to continue blogging my way is a subscriber to the axiom "life is long and things happen" : a topic which she and I have discussed at length, also in terms of cycles and circles and people passing in and out of one anothers' lives and re-instating each other in different capacities. I guess that's just part of my enjoyment of the notion of patterns, the inherent harmony that they breed. Its like monopoly, you must inevitably pass Go and find yourself in a familiar square. More than once i've looked around and felt i was back at square one...but new patterns are always forming and existing ones tend to shift. Kaleidoscopes, y'know?
Despite my pseudo-cod-philosophising on how things fit together, people should look around at the people they surround themselves with, the way their own behaviour makes their life go in circles, the situations they find themselves in. There's patterns in what we do, whether we chose to see or accept them. Personally, I accept them for what they are and sometimes take comfort in sometimes letting a cycle come back round again.
Its good to hand over the reigns from time to time.
Its good to pass go and collect £200...
Thursday 24 July 2008
An interesting dilemma.
When does something become contaminated?
Dictionary.com has this to say on the subject of contamination.
con·tam·i·nate
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Audio Help /v. kənˈtæməˌneɪt; n., adj. kənˈtæmənɪt, -ˌneɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[v. kuhn-tam-uh-neyt; n., adj. kuhn-tam-uh-nit, -neyt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -nat·ed, -nat·ing, noun, adjective
–verb (used with object)
1.
to make impure or unsuitable by contact or mixture with something unclean, bad, etc.: to contaminate a lake with sewage.
2.
to render harmful or unusable by adding radioactive material to: to contaminate a laboratory. –noun
3.
something that contaminates or carries contamination; contaminant. –adjective
4.
Obsolete. contaminated
I worry now that the bubble in which my Blog exists falls under heading 4. Ironically, its the very fact that people are reading it that may hamper my own honesty. Honesty has been an integral part of keeping an online blog and its never something I shy away from. I am, however, concerned that the knowledge that its being read may in some way influence what I choose to document.
It raises questions i've been wondering about since just before christmas. Should I retain my true nature or strive to fit the criteria that others seem to live by? Do I retain my core values and stand as an anachronism in today's world and remain truly the person I am, or should I forego them in order to be what people expect?
More to the point, what is it that's expected of me? Have people come to accept who I am or do they, like i sometimes feel, suspect that I'm the last of a dying breed.
My principles in the past have robbed me of opportunities I wish i'd taken. I sometimes wonder if they're worth adhering to, if i lived more like my friends then i'd be out behaving in a fashion more befitting my age...but i don't think i'd be me, and that's something that worries me. I don't need to be super-honest to show that.
My week this week has been comparitively straightforward. I can't seem to shift the unassailable feelings of unhappiness that seem to have nested in my head for the time being. My band caused me a great amount of upset by being inconsistent, unreliable and disappointing for the most part, but this was tempered by a day hanging out with my best friend, then a day hanging out with another of my closest friends as well as a surreptitious viewing of The Dark Knight, under the radar, and it was incredible.
Tomorrow i'm playing with the guys and knocking together some rough demos for the forthcoming Fifty Caliber Smile EP which should be ok providing we're punctual and get practiced, then its off to the cinema for my second Dark Knight of the week. That's going to be pretty cool.
I feel i made it through this entry without having to compromise on what's going on inside my head. There are those close to me who have an imperceptible sensation of unhappiness and can't quite put their finger on the cause. I sometimes feel that my strength lies in my ability to read such situations...yet sometimes, i know all too well that the cause is elusive.
I think I shall stick by the statement I made earlier today regarding the best way to get to the real me. Reading my thoughts on the page is one thing...but seeing them as they form, stumbling off the end of my tongue is like bottled lightning, only the barest of thought, the slightest of connection. Not to say i don't think before i speak, but its the guaranteed way to catch the things that are on my mind before they've been through the filter.
If I had to choose somebody for people to see in a situation where I had no fear, it would be the real me...most of the others are pale imitations.
Dictionary.com has this to say on the subject of contamination.
con·tam·i·nate
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Audio Help /v. kənˈtæməˌneɪt; n., adj. kənˈtæmənɪt, -ˌneɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[v. kuhn-tam-uh-neyt; n., adj. kuhn-tam-uh-nit, -neyt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -nat·ed, -nat·ing, noun, adjective
–verb (used with object)
1.
to make impure or unsuitable by contact or mixture with something unclean, bad, etc.: to contaminate a lake with sewage.
2.
to render harmful or unusable by adding radioactive material to: to contaminate a laboratory. –noun
3.
something that contaminates or carries contamination; contaminant. –adjective
4.
Obsolete. contaminated
I worry now that the bubble in which my Blog exists falls under heading 4. Ironically, its the very fact that people are reading it that may hamper my own honesty. Honesty has been an integral part of keeping an online blog and its never something I shy away from. I am, however, concerned that the knowledge that its being read may in some way influence what I choose to document.
It raises questions i've been wondering about since just before christmas. Should I retain my true nature or strive to fit the criteria that others seem to live by? Do I retain my core values and stand as an anachronism in today's world and remain truly the person I am, or should I forego them in order to be what people expect?
More to the point, what is it that's expected of me? Have people come to accept who I am or do they, like i sometimes feel, suspect that I'm the last of a dying breed.
My principles in the past have robbed me of opportunities I wish i'd taken. I sometimes wonder if they're worth adhering to, if i lived more like my friends then i'd be out behaving in a fashion more befitting my age...but i don't think i'd be me, and that's something that worries me. I don't need to be super-honest to show that.
My week this week has been comparitively straightforward. I can't seem to shift the unassailable feelings of unhappiness that seem to have nested in my head for the time being. My band caused me a great amount of upset by being inconsistent, unreliable and disappointing for the most part, but this was tempered by a day hanging out with my best friend, then a day hanging out with another of my closest friends as well as a surreptitious viewing of The Dark Knight, under the radar, and it was incredible.
Tomorrow i'm playing with the guys and knocking together some rough demos for the forthcoming Fifty Caliber Smile EP which should be ok providing we're punctual and get practiced, then its off to the cinema for my second Dark Knight of the week. That's going to be pretty cool.
I feel i made it through this entry without having to compromise on what's going on inside my head. There are those close to me who have an imperceptible sensation of unhappiness and can't quite put their finger on the cause. I sometimes feel that my strength lies in my ability to read such situations...yet sometimes, i know all too well that the cause is elusive.
I think I shall stick by the statement I made earlier today regarding the best way to get to the real me. Reading my thoughts on the page is one thing...but seeing them as they form, stumbling off the end of my tongue is like bottled lightning, only the barest of thought, the slightest of connection. Not to say i don't think before i speak, but its the guaranteed way to catch the things that are on my mind before they've been through the filter.
If I had to choose somebody for people to see in a situation where I had no fear, it would be the real me...most of the others are pale imitations.
Thursday 17 July 2008
Long dark lunchtime of the soul (plus love crumbs and a sainsbury's bag for life)
I'm not prone to using my blog as an outlet for ruminations and musings on the human condition. Cleverer men than I have their own soapboxes for that and I don't feel compelled to compete with them. The past few days, however, some things which are more specific to me have arisen in my head and the people I have tried to articulate them towards have been unable to yield any answers. Putting things down in a fixed medium will at least preserve the ideas for a little while, hopefully without sounding overly pretensious or self involved.
What got me thinking about the way we behave as people and more particularly, how that pattern affects me and my place within it, was Kill Bill. Genre spanning ultra violent revenge epic Kill Bill, made me think about human nature. It might not seem like the most relevant work for considering human behaviour in a realistic way, but one tiny notion from it was enough for me to draw a parallel.
Last night, I felt that I really ought to spend a little more time with my brother. In a couple of months, I won't be living here anymore, and despite our differences, there's some things we have in common. A love of things that are "cool" being one of them, and I felt it imperative to his education that he see Kill Bill. Starting Volume One after one in the morning and winding up nearer 5 with the conclusion of Volume Two, we pulled an all nighter watching graphic kung fu, ultra over the top violence and revenge.
As The Bride's bloody vendetta draws towards a close, she must face Bill in a final showdown. In order to locate the erudite assassin, she must obtain his whereabouts from mexican pimp and sometime father figure to the titular rogue, Esteban Vihaio. It is with little hesitation that Esteban divests himself of the knowledge of Bill's whereabouts, despite being keenly aware of just why Uma Thurman's Bride wishes to find him. The Bride herself raises this issue with Esteban, who responds that Bill would want her to know where he is, despite her agenda, in order to see her again.
Now this to me, says a lot for the way people invariably behave. Often it seems, we bear in mind just how destructive and potentially serious the consequences of our actions are...and then disregard them, because we place more importance on what we derive from them in the interim. No matter how deadly The Bride's visit may be for Bill, he still wants to see her.
I think that's something we all do to a degree, we forego the potential repercussions of our actions because the actions leading up to the fallout are rewarding enough in their own right. Ordinarily, i'm the first person to consider the outcome of the way I behave. In fact, this in itself has been a source of consternation for me this week as Its usually one of the key principles that governs my behaviour but lately has become far more elastic.
The idea of me that people seem to have is in keeping with this, but suddenly I feel that my newfound lack of regard for consequence is being held against me. In fairness, its contradictory to how I usually go about things, but for once I'm letting myself do what I want without my brain getting in the way too much.
In thinking about what rewards this attitude afforded me this week, I was able to see somebody I know who I hadn't seen for a long time...at least in the sense that its been a long time since they were really themselves with me. I mean, i've seen them look vulnerable and in need of late but its been a long time since i saw their actual smile instead of the one they hide behind with everybody else. Had I spared a thought for the consequences of my actions, then that wouldn't have happened. Sometimes I'm curious as to whether or not the outcome outweighs the possible repercussions.
As for the next set of consequences, I'm not sure what to do. I'm not even sure what my next set of actions are going to be. It may be I need to find a way to reconcile the best way to be myself with a more laid back approach to what happens in my day to day life. I may just take each situation as it presents itself, try not to think about it too much and do my best to be myself in the lead-up.
Another question : Is that so bad?
What got me thinking about the way we behave as people and more particularly, how that pattern affects me and my place within it, was Kill Bill. Genre spanning ultra violent revenge epic Kill Bill, made me think about human nature. It might not seem like the most relevant work for considering human behaviour in a realistic way, but one tiny notion from it was enough for me to draw a parallel.
Last night, I felt that I really ought to spend a little more time with my brother. In a couple of months, I won't be living here anymore, and despite our differences, there's some things we have in common. A love of things that are "cool" being one of them, and I felt it imperative to his education that he see Kill Bill. Starting Volume One after one in the morning and winding up nearer 5 with the conclusion of Volume Two, we pulled an all nighter watching graphic kung fu, ultra over the top violence and revenge.
As The Bride's bloody vendetta draws towards a close, she must face Bill in a final showdown. In order to locate the erudite assassin, she must obtain his whereabouts from mexican pimp and sometime father figure to the titular rogue, Esteban Vihaio. It is with little hesitation that Esteban divests himself of the knowledge of Bill's whereabouts, despite being keenly aware of just why Uma Thurman's Bride wishes to find him. The Bride herself raises this issue with Esteban, who responds that Bill would want her to know where he is, despite her agenda, in order to see her again.
Now this to me, says a lot for the way people invariably behave. Often it seems, we bear in mind just how destructive and potentially serious the consequences of our actions are...and then disregard them, because we place more importance on what we derive from them in the interim. No matter how deadly The Bride's visit may be for Bill, he still wants to see her.
I think that's something we all do to a degree, we forego the potential repercussions of our actions because the actions leading up to the fallout are rewarding enough in their own right. Ordinarily, i'm the first person to consider the outcome of the way I behave. In fact, this in itself has been a source of consternation for me this week as Its usually one of the key principles that governs my behaviour but lately has become far more elastic.
The idea of me that people seem to have is in keeping with this, but suddenly I feel that my newfound lack of regard for consequence is being held against me. In fairness, its contradictory to how I usually go about things, but for once I'm letting myself do what I want without my brain getting in the way too much.
In thinking about what rewards this attitude afforded me this week, I was able to see somebody I know who I hadn't seen for a long time...at least in the sense that its been a long time since they were really themselves with me. I mean, i've seen them look vulnerable and in need of late but its been a long time since i saw their actual smile instead of the one they hide behind with everybody else. Had I spared a thought for the consequences of my actions, then that wouldn't have happened. Sometimes I'm curious as to whether or not the outcome outweighs the possible repercussions.
As for the next set of consequences, I'm not sure what to do. I'm not even sure what my next set of actions are going to be. It may be I need to find a way to reconcile the best way to be myself with a more laid back approach to what happens in my day to day life. I may just take each situation as it presents itself, try not to think about it too much and do my best to be myself in the lead-up.
Another question : Is that so bad?
Friday 11 July 2008
Banana Log
This week's been pretty busy. Almost busy enough to warrant a blog...
I last posted on monday and have since been...questioned as to whether or not a fairly significant drama can be effectively summarised with one sentence. A good friend of mine usually summarises such differences of opinion with the helpful axiom "The End." I guess the lesson i've learned this week is that no matter how many times you try to walk away from a problem, it can't just be dropped and disregarded. Even though i've repeatedly tried to find a resolution, there seems to be another spanner in the works shortly afterwards. Is it better to reach an amicable solution or just bury your head in the sand if one can't be established? Can things just be "made" ok through attitude alone?
Fortunately, i had enough good banter with friends this week to divert my attention away from the activities in my own head. I also distracted myself with the task of making somebody smile which i feel, pending the word of its successful execution, might just work. I'm crafty like that.
Tuesday some new ideas were demofied for Kirstyn Knowles' next EP upon which i will be laying guitar parts which is a source of joy and excitement. Similarly, last night a meeting was held with Kirstyn Knowles bandmate and producer of excellence Garry Boyle in order to book studio time next month to start work on the next Fifty Caliber Smile EP. Looks like all systems are a-go when it comes to making of music. So hey, at least there's that.
Speaking of, tonight and tomorrow i'm guesting on guitar with John Reynolds in his guise as "Bird Of Prey" at Henry's and GRV/Green room, whatever the fuck they're calling it now in the cowgate, respectively. His music is all about honest songwriting and is hugely good. Worth a look on myspace for certain. Maybe if you're around you'll catch us!
Word of my craftiness and activities over the weekend will reach your eyes next week.
I last posted on monday and have since been...questioned as to whether or not a fairly significant drama can be effectively summarised with one sentence. A good friend of mine usually summarises such differences of opinion with the helpful axiom "The End." I guess the lesson i've learned this week is that no matter how many times you try to walk away from a problem, it can't just be dropped and disregarded. Even though i've repeatedly tried to find a resolution, there seems to be another spanner in the works shortly afterwards. Is it better to reach an amicable solution or just bury your head in the sand if one can't be established? Can things just be "made" ok through attitude alone?
Fortunately, i had enough good banter with friends this week to divert my attention away from the activities in my own head. I also distracted myself with the task of making somebody smile which i feel, pending the word of its successful execution, might just work. I'm crafty like that.
Tuesday some new ideas were demofied for Kirstyn Knowles' next EP upon which i will be laying guitar parts which is a source of joy and excitement. Similarly, last night a meeting was held with Kirstyn Knowles bandmate and producer of excellence Garry Boyle in order to book studio time next month to start work on the next Fifty Caliber Smile EP. Looks like all systems are a-go when it comes to making of music. So hey, at least there's that.
Speaking of, tonight and tomorrow i'm guesting on guitar with John Reynolds in his guise as "Bird Of Prey" at Henry's and GRV/Green room, whatever the fuck they're calling it now in the cowgate, respectively. His music is all about honest songwriting and is hugely good. Worth a look on myspace for certain. Maybe if you're around you'll catch us!
Word of my craftiness and activities over the weekend will reach your eyes next week.
Monday 7 July 2008
Updatings
Its been a healthy age since I last posted a blog. In the interim, i have had some outstanding evenings and some good times indeed. My internal sense of time has been skewed by a biometric metacrisis so i shall just recap some of the highlights, like match of the day, but of my life. Match of my life. But no football.
I had an awesome time a couple of weeks ago when I took in classic rock inspired band Stone Gods at Cabaret Voltaire in Edinburgh. I attended with one of my more rock minded colleagues, Tony and managed to use some of my outstanding blagging skills to wangle my way backstage. I left with a signed setlist and my pass. Nicely done if i do say so myself. I'm an unashamed fan of classic rock and anything that's got a beefy riff so it was an ace evening. As i write this i'm giving their debut album its first listen and so far its delivering on my 70s rock fetish.
On the level of my personal life, i managed to bury the hatchet with a girl who has caused me a healthy dose of stress in the past 10 months. I managed to gain some perspective on the complexities or lack thereof of my problems by taking a trip up north to visit two of my closest friends, Kiera and Grant, last weekend. Drinking was done, banter was had and i was reminded in short order of the kind of people that matter to me. The people who i place the most value on are those that understand me and accept me without question and i'm fortunate to have those two at the top of the list and people back here in edinburgh who manage to fit the bill in K and G's absence. For a variety of reasons though, i can't wait to go back up to see those guys.
Fifty Caliber Smile, after the calamatous loss of niall's fingertip, have regrouped and started writing and rehearsing again with the aim to get back on a stage sometime soon. Similarly, work on the new Kirstyn Knowles EP was earnestly begun last week with demos being laid down for 4 of the proposed 5 tracks and some ideas floating about to tackle some new material.
All in all, things could be a lot worse right now. I just can't wait to get into my flat, get into town and actually get back making music again. I feel like people aren't quite seeing the best of what i have to offer yet.
All in good time though...for i am the destroyer of worlds
I had an awesome time a couple of weeks ago when I took in classic rock inspired band Stone Gods at Cabaret Voltaire in Edinburgh. I attended with one of my more rock minded colleagues, Tony and managed to use some of my outstanding blagging skills to wangle my way backstage. I left with a signed setlist and my pass. Nicely done if i do say so myself. I'm an unashamed fan of classic rock and anything that's got a beefy riff so it was an ace evening. As i write this i'm giving their debut album its first listen and so far its delivering on my 70s rock fetish.
On the level of my personal life, i managed to bury the hatchet with a girl who has caused me a healthy dose of stress in the past 10 months. I managed to gain some perspective on the complexities or lack thereof of my problems by taking a trip up north to visit two of my closest friends, Kiera and Grant, last weekend. Drinking was done, banter was had and i was reminded in short order of the kind of people that matter to me. The people who i place the most value on are those that understand me and accept me without question and i'm fortunate to have those two at the top of the list and people back here in edinburgh who manage to fit the bill in K and G's absence. For a variety of reasons though, i can't wait to go back up to see those guys.
Fifty Caliber Smile, after the calamatous loss of niall's fingertip, have regrouped and started writing and rehearsing again with the aim to get back on a stage sometime soon. Similarly, work on the new Kirstyn Knowles EP was earnestly begun last week with demos being laid down for 4 of the proposed 5 tracks and some ideas floating about to tackle some new material.
All in all, things could be a lot worse right now. I just can't wait to get into my flat, get into town and actually get back making music again. I feel like people aren't quite seeing the best of what i have to offer yet.
All in good time though...for i am the destroyer of worlds
Thursday 12 June 2008
Tentative completion.
So yesterday, I submitted the remainder of my coursework that I had outstanding. It mostly took the shape of work for two subjects, composition and Electronic Music Sequencing, two of the elements of my course that I have little time for. In truth, i prefer composition but neither subject has much of the organic musicianship that I like. This past couple of weeks has been a period of frenetic activity, desperately striving to get things finished and it really took a lot out of me.
It looks like most of that work was pretty much pointless. 2 days this week i made plans that fell through AFTER I'd left the house to fulfill my social obligations. Tonight i was meant to be going out with my college friends. Turns out that too many of them have too much to do. So fuck that. I won't be leaving the house save for work and band related activities for a while.
Oh, except i'm going up north later this month to see kiera and grant, my best friend and her mantoy so that I can take some time out from the grim scenario I find myself in.
Roll on christmas.
It looks like most of that work was pretty much pointless. 2 days this week i made plans that fell through AFTER I'd left the house to fulfill my social obligations. Tonight i was meant to be going out with my college friends. Turns out that too many of them have too much to do. So fuck that. I won't be leaving the house save for work and band related activities for a while.
Oh, except i'm going up north later this month to see kiera and grant, my best friend and her mantoy so that I can take some time out from the grim scenario I find myself in.
Roll on christmas.
Saturday 24 May 2008
Indiana Caliber Smile and the Quest For The Missing Fingertip
What a week.
I've learned a valuable lesson this week about the perils of tempting fate by making bold and outrageous statements such as "I'm Happy With My Life Right Now" because guaranteed some entity will decide that this is not acceptable. Therefore they shall cosmically intervene and render me stressed out in the extreme.
In fairness, there's people in my life who are worse off than me right now and my college compatriots are all just as swamped as I, so I do feel churlish complaining, however, I can't help but feel like the past few days bore an inordinate volume of stress making factors.
Since last I posted, i have been rather busy and some nifty and not so nifty things have occured.
In the nifty column are 2 gigs with Fifty Caliber Smile, one at the Bongo Club a couple of thursdays ago and one last Wednesday at The Ark. The Bongo club gig was a weird one as i played with the FCS guys at 8:30 and then played a completely different kind of set at 9:30 with my college band, The Stellar Groovetones. It was a good night all round with 2 strong performances, both of which i thoroughly enjoyed.
Also nifty was the fact that Kiera, my long suffering companion in time and space was in edinburgh for the day last wednesday and muchos good banter was had. We repaired to my friend Emma's cafe for a spot of breakfast and some chat and caught up on the happenings since she was last in my neck of the woods. It was to her that i claimed that i was happy and unfortunately she was not the only one listening.
On thursday last week, I was given the frighteners by one of our tutors at college who informed us that we only have until the 13th of June to complete and submit the remainder of our coursework. Fucking bugger! Way too much to do, not nearly enough time to get it done. Stress factor number one.
This was exacerbated (fancy word) in the evening by a phone call from Fifty Caliber Smile frontman exclaiming that he had, in fact, sliced a healthy sample from the end of a fretting finger, effectively putting our career on hold for a month. Another example of shitting bugger syndrome. Stress fact number two.
Number three? the phone provider orange failing to correctly show when my account is balanced correctly and sending me a bill for TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY POUNDS. Pretty fucking ironic considering they sent me a phone a couple of months ago that barely stays switched on long enough to actually make a phone call. Absolutely ridiculous. I managed to talk it down to near enough 100 bucks, however, that's a lot of money when you actually have none.
So these factors are strong reasons behind me feeling abit wiped out. The workload is heavy, but i have plenty to look forward to and keep me busy in the coming weeks i feel. Trying to be positive and upbeat and manage things in my own time. Smells like a winner. I'll probably write a bit more sometime soon when i have something halfway interesting to report. Roll on summer!
I've learned a valuable lesson this week about the perils of tempting fate by making bold and outrageous statements such as "I'm Happy With My Life Right Now" because guaranteed some entity will decide that this is not acceptable. Therefore they shall cosmically intervene and render me stressed out in the extreme.
In fairness, there's people in my life who are worse off than me right now and my college compatriots are all just as swamped as I, so I do feel churlish complaining, however, I can't help but feel like the past few days bore an inordinate volume of stress making factors.
Since last I posted, i have been rather busy and some nifty and not so nifty things have occured.
In the nifty column are 2 gigs with Fifty Caliber Smile, one at the Bongo Club a couple of thursdays ago and one last Wednesday at The Ark. The Bongo club gig was a weird one as i played with the FCS guys at 8:30 and then played a completely different kind of set at 9:30 with my college band, The Stellar Groovetones. It was a good night all round with 2 strong performances, both of which i thoroughly enjoyed.
Also nifty was the fact that Kiera, my long suffering companion in time and space was in edinburgh for the day last wednesday and muchos good banter was had. We repaired to my friend Emma's cafe for a spot of breakfast and some chat and caught up on the happenings since she was last in my neck of the woods. It was to her that i claimed that i was happy and unfortunately she was not the only one listening.
On thursday last week, I was given the frighteners by one of our tutors at college who informed us that we only have until the 13th of June to complete and submit the remainder of our coursework. Fucking bugger! Way too much to do, not nearly enough time to get it done. Stress factor number one.
This was exacerbated (fancy word) in the evening by a phone call from Fifty Caliber Smile frontman exclaiming that he had, in fact, sliced a healthy sample from the end of a fretting finger, effectively putting our career on hold for a month. Another example of shitting bugger syndrome. Stress fact number two.
Number three? the phone provider orange failing to correctly show when my account is balanced correctly and sending me a bill for TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY POUNDS. Pretty fucking ironic considering they sent me a phone a couple of months ago that barely stays switched on long enough to actually make a phone call. Absolutely ridiculous. I managed to talk it down to near enough 100 bucks, however, that's a lot of money when you actually have none.
So these factors are strong reasons behind me feeling abit wiped out. The workload is heavy, but i have plenty to look forward to and keep me busy in the coming weeks i feel. Trying to be positive and upbeat and manage things in my own time. Smells like a winner. I'll probably write a bit more sometime soon when i have something halfway interesting to report. Roll on summer!
Friday 16 May 2008
A week in review
Strikes and gutters man, strikes and gutters. More or less an accurate assessment of how my week panned out.
Remember i was meant to go and be at Alton Towers on tuesday? Aye, well the bus broke down at 5 in the morning just outside of carlisle. 2 and a half hours waiting outside of the bus in a layby while an engineer was dispatched to perform repairs. He was able to patch the bus up enough to get us to the services at carlisle and then there was the 3 hour wait for a replacement coach. Of course, by the time a replacement coach was dispatched, there was no point in making the trip to Alton Towers and so we came back. An absolute write-off of a day. Some salvage was made when we returned to Edinburgh as myself, Jim and Kirst, two of my close friends, took a bit of a wander around town, had a couple of drinks and dinner together then went and got ice cream. Sometimes all it takes to make a day better is the company and banter of a couple of good people, something i'm all too aware of.
Wednesday was largely spent catching up on sleep and taking it easy. My good friend rebecca came round and much Doctor Who and Peep Show was watched.
Thursday brought with it a last minute slot at a college gig for two of my bands, my main band Fifty Caliber Smile and my college outfit The Stellar Groovetones. A milestone in that i performed two sets (that both went smoothly) with two seperate bands and also failed to generate my token spikey hair. I think i looked mildly presentable despite this lack of grooming.
Speaking of gigs, some photographic work from the gigs at the weekend are now up and about online care of Stef Pryke, an absolutely outstanding photographer whose work is definitely worth a look...
Monday 12 May 2008
Hibernation Sickness
Greetings,
A couple of things right out the gate. Firstly, i'm knackered. Really, truly, wiped out. Reasons for this will soon be apparent.
The second point which i feel is prudent to make is that my blog is precisely that. MY blog. It contains only my thoughts and opinions and do not reflect those of anybody else. I say this because the internet is a big place and you never know who is reading your writing and i feel that if i'm about to talk about how i spent a weekend and a pair of weekdays in the company of people and profer my own assessments of them then I should point out that it isn't the opinion of my band or friends, merely my own.
That's not to say that what i have to say is all bad, far from it. But anyway, to business...
Thursday : Thursday of last week, the 8th of may, saw me attend college through the day and play a gig in glasgow in the evening. College was the standard grind, fairly uneventful and filled with some reasonably good banter. There followed a car journey with drummer Carl and bassist Doug through to Glasgow venue 'Rockers' which in all fairness was a bit of a dive. The performance suffered from us being bored for 2 hours waiting to get into the venue, no clear organisation and having to deal with another band who we have little in common with. They're called Forsaken and are from Glasgow. Their music may be to the liking of others but it doesn't appeal to me. They sound like 4 people who have been given the fritzl treatment but with copies of Metallica's black album taking the place of incestual abuse with an equally traumatic outcome. Unfortunately I had to witness their musical stylings more than i'd like over the course of the four nights. We were, however, also sharing the bill with Lucretia Choir, who had a nice classic rock/metal sound and some top female vocals. And so we get to...
Friday : Motherwell. the land that time forgot. time and fashion. And technology. And progress.
We played in the Starka bar. Typical mini skirts and tube tops downstairs, upstairs it was all camo netting and marshall backline. Epic. We played well, some good stage banter and interaction and a tight performance. But then on...
Saturday : I took a break from touring to work. A long day (9:30 - 7) and then returned to the world of gigging in the evening. Playing at Bannerman's in edinburgh and we were subject to the whims and wiles of a promoter called Sherri. I absolutely despise her. In her infinite wisdom we were put on last and thanks to Forsaken (or as the posters read 'Foursaken' which just reads like foreskin to me) we didn't take to the stage until just after midnight. Thankfully it was busy and we were RAGING and managed to deliver a BLINDIN' performance. The evening was capped off with me standing atop the front of house monitors having a feedback soaked shred-out. Smells like win.
And so to....
Sunday : Working AGAIN and then a train journey to Glasgow on my lonesome to play with the Fifty Caliber Smile lads at Ivory Blacks. I kept falling asleep on the train listening to joni mitchell. The big mistake in the ivory blacks layout is that there's enough room on the monitor platforms to plant one foot on the platform and then the other on the crowd control barrier. This was executed. I'll post a blog soon with some photos of this. For your eyes.
I'm writing this in the front room of my good friend Kirst's flat. We're staying up late cos at 3 in the morning we're going to Alton Towers. Oh yes, rather than spend my week working on college work i'm actually going to a theme park. How's THAT for procrastination?
More later in the week. Bye.
Thursday 8 May 2008
Stressbox
Things are causing me some major aggravation today. Music theory is making me blue, its tough for my little guitarist's brain to handle. I have 2 papers to sit in the next week and both of them are utter bastards.
I can't decide whether i should dilligently tackle college work for the next week or take a detour and go to alton towers with some friends on tuesday. Part of me thinks there won't be an opportunity to go on a trip for a while..part of me thinks i should just man up and get my work done.
Add to this the fact that i have 4 nights of gigs, commencing tonight. Details of these are on my band's myspace, myspace.com/fiftycalibersmile
If anybody gives a shit.
Sigh. Fail.
I can't decide whether i should dilligently tackle college work for the next week or take a detour and go to alton towers with some friends on tuesday. Part of me thinks there won't be an opportunity to go on a trip for a while..part of me thinks i should just man up and get my work done.
Add to this the fact that i have 4 nights of gigs, commencing tonight. Details of these are on my band's myspace, myspace.com/fiftycalibersmile
If anybody gives a shit.
Sigh. Fail.
Sunday 4 May 2008
Strikes and gutters
A day of two halves. Well, i say two halves, it was really a totally shite morning and a distinctly average afternoon with one shining beacon of muchos happiness in the early evening.
The last thing i really needed today was to have to deal with a disgruntled customer. The thing of it is, i quite like my job. A lot of people assume for one reason or another that i don't. This isn't true, i really enjoy working where i do, except when i have to deal with appaulingly mannered customers.
The sequence of events ran thusly. A gentleman wished to book a recording session today and required the use of a session drummer. My employer assigned the task of recruiting the session player to a colleague who failed to do so and then passed the onus of responsibility on to me. In the one day i had available i did my best to track down a drummer but one day's notice is really not enough to secure the services of a musician. I strove to do so, was unable to and then to add insult to injury, was unable to notify the customer of the situation.
Today i was met with a disagreeable attitude from him as i attempted to clarify the situation to him. His logic was, that since i was the person standing in front of him, the absence of a drummer was in some way my fault. I would counter that it wasn't my fault, but there are other people who would like it to be.
I'm not really interested in alloting blame or pointing the finger of responsibility at anybody. That isn't my bag, but if it were, then i'd have to say that the responsibility indeed lay elsewhere. This made the man''s accusations all the more irksome, especially seeing as i spend a disproportionately small amount of my time at work. I can happily report that at the zero hour a drummer was recruited. I say happily, but his really shitty earring and unnervingly soft voice are both big ticks in the "cons" column.
The remainder of the day was suitably average by comparison. I pottered about, i played guitar, did a couple of lessons then came home. The source of happiness in my day? A top secret coded ninja e-mail from a close friend and musical confidante (and indeed bon vivant, they nearly rhyme ya'll) sketching plans and plots and schemes and hair brained ventures for future recordingness with the mighty Kirstyn Knowles. Plans are being made, plots being laid. The concept is flawless and will throw many interesting things your way AND ours. I can't wait til a summer of recording.
I also made a compilation cd for a best friends new cafe venture. Its going to be called the Treehouse in tollcross in edinburgh and the tunes will be PUMPING and the foods will be a scrumptious. Anybody who goes there will be a lucky lucky person.
Tomorrow i too will be a lucky lucky person. Mmmmmm. Latte.
Also, get your butts over to www.myspace.com/fiftycalibersmile and find out how you can catch me playing with this awesome foursome on a quad pack of evenings this week! gig deets are there, and you should check the choons too! A perfunctory youtube search for Fifty Caliber Smile will yield real actual video pictures of us too! In real life!
zzzzzz i need to sleep. This is starting to descend into farce. And its way too late for farce.
The last thing i really needed today was to have to deal with a disgruntled customer. The thing of it is, i quite like my job. A lot of people assume for one reason or another that i don't. This isn't true, i really enjoy working where i do, except when i have to deal with appaulingly mannered customers.
The sequence of events ran thusly. A gentleman wished to book a recording session today and required the use of a session drummer. My employer assigned the task of recruiting the session player to a colleague who failed to do so and then passed the onus of responsibility on to me. In the one day i had available i did my best to track down a drummer but one day's notice is really not enough to secure the services of a musician. I strove to do so, was unable to and then to add insult to injury, was unable to notify the customer of the situation.
Today i was met with a disagreeable attitude from him as i attempted to clarify the situation to him. His logic was, that since i was the person standing in front of him, the absence of a drummer was in some way my fault. I would counter that it wasn't my fault, but there are other people who would like it to be.
I'm not really interested in alloting blame or pointing the finger of responsibility at anybody. That isn't my bag, but if it were, then i'd have to say that the responsibility indeed lay elsewhere. This made the man''s accusations all the more irksome, especially seeing as i spend a disproportionately small amount of my time at work. I can happily report that at the zero hour a drummer was recruited. I say happily, but his really shitty earring and unnervingly soft voice are both big ticks in the "cons" column.
The remainder of the day was suitably average by comparison. I pottered about, i played guitar, did a couple of lessons then came home. The source of happiness in my day? A top secret coded ninja e-mail from a close friend and musical confidante (and indeed bon vivant, they nearly rhyme ya'll) sketching plans and plots and schemes and hair brained ventures for future recordingness with the mighty Kirstyn Knowles. Plans are being made, plots being laid. The concept is flawless and will throw many interesting things your way AND ours. I can't wait til a summer of recording.
I also made a compilation cd for a best friends new cafe venture. Its going to be called the Treehouse in tollcross in edinburgh and the tunes will be PUMPING and the foods will be a scrumptious. Anybody who goes there will be a lucky lucky person.
Tomorrow i too will be a lucky lucky person. Mmmmmm. Latte.
Also, get your butts over to www.myspace.com/fiftycalibersmile and find out how you can catch me playing with this awesome foursome on a quad pack of evenings this week! gig deets are there, and you should check the choons too! A perfunctory youtube search for Fifty Caliber Smile will yield real actual video pictures of us too! In real life!
zzzzzz i need to sleep. This is starting to descend into farce. And its way too late for farce.
Thursday 1 May 2008
Right then.
Hello.
Quite recently, one of my close friends decided to start a blog. I fucking detest that word, with a passion. Its severely unimpressive, and just another example of a lazy culture.
However, the principle is pretty good. People who i don't see on a regular basis can read my erudite ramblings about the many and varied pressing subjects that weigh upon my mind. These include :
College and the volume of work
Music
My bands
Socialising
Alcohol
Women (and being fucked over by same, a rich vein of conversation)
The day to day happenings of a misanthrope (apparently, i'm a miserable bastard)
So yeah, i'll do my best to keep this updated. If i can think of anything cogent to say.
In the meantime, keep the peepers on myspace.com/guitarrampage (where this blog may also appear)
Check the deets on myspace.com/fiftycalibersmile regarding gig activity next weekend.
Quite recently, one of my close friends decided to start a blog. I fucking detest that word, with a passion. Its severely unimpressive, and just another example of a lazy culture.
However, the principle is pretty good. People who i don't see on a regular basis can read my erudite ramblings about the many and varied pressing subjects that weigh upon my mind. These include :
College and the volume of work
Music
My bands
Socialising
Alcohol
Women (and being fucked over by same, a rich vein of conversation)
The day to day happenings of a misanthrope (apparently, i'm a miserable bastard)
So yeah, i'll do my best to keep this updated. If i can think of anything cogent to say.
In the meantime, keep the peepers on myspace.com/guitarrampage (where this blog may also appear)
Check the deets on myspace.com/fiftycalibersmile regarding gig activity next weekend.
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