September

I can't believe it's getting dark around half 7 already and i can see brown leaves all over the pavements. Friday before last I was in a t-shirt and baking alive in the hottest sunshine we'd had all year. I've not got S.A.D but sometimes the turning of the leaves depresses me. usually because of its association with being back at school or college through my youth and this time of the year just having an inherent sadness about it. My best friend Kiera always cites autumn as a time for change and I'm always inspired by that attitude. I don't know what changes are in store for me really, but change has been on my mind a lot lately.
I haven't updated in a while due to work commitments and band commitments. Not The band the commitments but you get my meaning..
My august was largely spent worrying about work and actually being AT work. Very little time for fun or socialising as my free time was dedicated to preparing for the recording of the new Fifty Caliber Smile (myspace.com/fiftycalibermsile) EP which is kicking off recording this week. That, and i move into my new flat in the middle of Edinburgh this weekend which is a source of excitement and trepidation. It'll be cool to be nearer to the centre of things but at the same time, I have to actually behave more responsibly than usual. With any luck I'll rise to the challenges of being a grown up without too much trouble.
Another reason for the absence of posts is simply due to me being unable to articulate what's going on in my head a lot of the time. Its been a long time since my head was this jumbled up with stuff, both personal and academic so its been more difficult to get across what's going in. My usual sources of confusion continue to be as confusing as ever, although they insist that there's been a shift and I'm now in the driver's seat. I hardly feel like i am, in all honesty I just think "who's flying this thing?" most of the time.
In fairness, musical things are also a source of concern but also excitement right now. My band with Kirstyn Knowles (myspace.com/kjkband) has a new drummer kicking off tonight and the EP with FCS promises to be a complete monster. Going forward, these are sources of excitement and i should put conflicts and confusion to the back of my head.
It may be the case that the changes around the corner aren't going to be ones around me, but changes in myself. I can't depart too radically from the template, but i was told last week that there's some things i really should change, from several quarters. Maybe the first thing is that i should listen to people instead of blindly following my own path and seeing where it gets me?

Its like Sam Cooke said... (no, not, "I was born in a little tent")