Sunday

Sunday at work is a fairly straightforward affair. I like how straigthforward it has become since I started working here, at a little Edinburgh recording studio. It isn't that there's no work to be done, just that i've fallen into such a slick pattern every week that it runs like clockwork. If i had my way, every shift would work like this, hell every DAY would work like this.
Today was a bit different because i was not without my concerns. I had more on my mind than i usually do, with a fair measure of uncertainty and some small amount of fear. I find that the circumstances of repairs being done to my flat are starting to put a lot of strain on my relationship with my better, more talented, more awesome half, and this has been my source of worry.
I'm informed that within the next 5 days i'll be able to move back into my place and I sincerely hope that this relieves some of the burden that she and I have been feeling lately. I fall into a lot of stereotypes comfortably when it comes to her, I love seeing my phone light up with her name attached to an incoming text. I clockwatch when I know i'm going to see her soon. I find myself laughing at funny things she says hours later when i remember what it was she said randomly. She has a blog of her own which i check out often, not because i'm hugely enthusiastic about makeup, but because she writes about something that i'm unfamiliar with with enthusiasm, wit and a genuine reflection of her own personality in her writing. She even made an entry about 5 celeb boys she lusts for amusing a fun read for me, and i should have been mildly affronted!

Times are difficult right now and i can't believe i'm facing some grown up problems such as money and housing at a mere 24! I do, however, feel that the problems I face are made that much smaller with her continued support. i can safely say that the best thing she gives me, on a daily basis, is belief in myself that stems from her faith in me. For that, i feel fortunate.

8 Things Blog...

My better half has been blog crazy lately, totally left me in the dust. She has a lot of initiative when it comes to the things she blogs about, going beyond the original remit of her intended blog topics and informing people of all kinds of things.
To this end, she's amassed over 60 followers, so i have some serious catching up to do. Today's blog of choice then...an 8 things blog. Its something she did and i thought it would make a good jumping off point.

8 things I look forward to

1) seeing my girl again after time apart
2) listening to an album in its entirety on a long enough journey on my iPod, particularly something totally new.
3) Quiet telly based evenings with my family.
4) Fifty Caliber Smile EP launch on May 9th. gonna shift some EPs and rock the fuck out of the assembled masses.
5) College being finished but hopefully being in a more full time mode of employment after some time off.
6) Getting back into my own flat (nice to put my mark on my own space again)
7) Always love getting packages from Amazon or generally anything i ordered off the net.
8) Finding myself emersed in a box set of top quality dvdness. Particularly something NEW and untouched.

8 things i did yesterday
(in order)

1) Listened to my new favourite Wilco album end to end on my trip to college (Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, it makes me sublimely happy)
2) Worked on soundtrack ideas for a short film, particularly acoustic guitar motifs inspired by "Let the right one in" and discussed arranging studio time to get them recorded
3) Wrote a short song based on a poem about happiness and not worrying.
4) Met up with my better half for a quick drink and wander around the shops.
5) Bought the graphic novel "Wolverine : Origin" which was nothing short of incredible.
6) Rehearsed with my band and an additional member for the launch of our new EP.
7) Stood in for an absent employee for the remainder of the night shift at work.
8) Came home in time for some chill time with aforementioned better half.

8 things i wish i could do

1) Enjoy a weekend of peace and quiet
2) Play a facemelting solo in front of an audience NOT entirely comprised of my friends that still numbers over 100
3) Sing more, and better.
4) Get through the backlog of music and dvds i have waiting to be watched and heard.
5) Find time for college work
6) Afford to go away somewhere nice
7) Find time for more music that isn't exclusively for college purposes
8) Get my hair right ALL the time.

8 shows i watch

1) Doctor Who
2) Lost
3) House
4) 24
5) Original Star Trek (new box set)
6) Arrested Development (never gets old)
7) Heroes
8) CSI (all iterations)

How about i add one since i can't get other bloggers to do this cos i know none?

8 Albums i currently adore

1) Sun Ra - Lanquidity
2) Fleet Foxe - Fleet Foxes
3) Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
4) The Hold Steady Stay Positive
5) She and Him - She and Him
6) Death Cab For Cutie - Narrow Stairs
7) Marvin Gaye - What's Going On?
8) Metallica - Master Of Puppets

What do people make of this?
Promise i'll blog more soon...if i have the time...

Oh what a shame...

'Oh what a shame that your pockets did bleed on st. valentine's
And you sat in a chair
Thinking "boy i'm such a prince!" '

Rufus Wainwright said that in a song called April Fools. It isn't april but it is valentine's day today. It's been a pretty standard day for me, being at work as is my usual for every saturday and to be fair, the vibe for today is a little subdued. Due to various circumstances, valentine's day for me today is a little muted with my evening being a quiet one in the flat with my better half, waiting for a takeaway to be delivered (with rumbling tums) and watching the telly.

The fact that the evening has been rather low-key has no impact on my enjoyment of the time i've had. I'm of the strong opinion that it doesn't matter what you do on valentine's day so long as you're with the person you care about. It's mega cheesy, but alas, its how my brain works. I'm pretty happy with the prospect of an evening watching dvds under the duvet with my favourite person.

And I better be prominently featured in your next slideshow...

Just the tune i'm listening to at the moment, that title there. I didn't want to stick up a big "Oh, i'm back" type thing cos A) no bugger will notice i'd gone and B)I couldn't think of a sufficiently witty one to stick on, so the aural equivalent of stating the obvious must suffice.

Why am I back? Where have I been? Neither question is really all that important. I'm inspired by my girlfriend's newfound love of blogging (hers is spefically about makeup) and my friend Helen's daily photoblog which she started in the New Year. So much has changed in the few months since i last wrote here it would be supremely foolish to try and accurately recount all the events that have unfolded. I was made temporarily homeless, which fortunately coincided with the appearance of an endlessly tolerant and supportive girlfriend in my life, so that was a turn up for the books : all of a sudden i had a place to go, and soon, i'll be back in my rightful place in my flat and will no longer be under her feet.

It's odd reading the last post I slapped up documenting the tentative first steps in recording the new Fifty Caliber Smile EP, but now we have the finished article in our grasp and it sounds incredible. Though the music we make isn't to the taste of everyone, i'm fiercely proud of the work we've created and once again lucky to work with such excellent musicians.

College is nearing its end and with it, an uncertain future, but i've learned in the past couple of months about how to embrace changes and what's down the line with good humour and optimism so my fears are minimal.

Expect more updates as things happen to me on a day to day basis, i'll try not to be so ambitious in scope with my posts from now on...

September

I can't believe it's getting dark around half 7 already and i can see brown leaves all over the pavements. Friday before last I was in a t-shirt and baking alive in the hottest sunshine we'd had all year. I've not got S.A.D but sometimes the turning of the leaves depresses me. usually because of its association with being back at school or college through my youth and this time of the year just having an inherent sadness about it. My best friend Kiera always cites autumn as a time for change and I'm always inspired by that attitude. I don't know what changes are in store for me really, but change has been on my mind a lot lately.
I haven't updated in a while due to work commitments and band commitments. Not The band the commitments but you get my meaning..
My august was largely spent worrying about work and actually being AT work. Very little time for fun or socialising as my free time was dedicated to preparing for the recording of the new Fifty Caliber Smile (myspace.com/fiftycalibermsile) EP which is kicking off recording this week. That, and i move into my new flat in the middle of Edinburgh this weekend which is a source of excitement and trepidation. It'll be cool to be nearer to the centre of things but at the same time, I have to actually behave more responsibly than usual. With any luck I'll rise to the challenges of being a grown up without too much trouble.
Another reason for the absence of posts is simply due to me being unable to articulate what's going on in my head a lot of the time. Its been a long time since my head was this jumbled up with stuff, both personal and academic so its been more difficult to get across what's going in. My usual sources of confusion continue to be as confusing as ever, although they insist that there's been a shift and I'm now in the driver's seat. I hardly feel like i am, in all honesty I just think "who's flying this thing?" most of the time.
In fairness, musical things are also a source of concern but also excitement right now. My band with Kirstyn Knowles (myspace.com/kjkband) has a new drummer kicking off tonight and the EP with FCS promises to be a complete monster. Going forward, these are sources of excitement and i should put conflicts and confusion to the back of my head.
It may be the case that the changes around the corner aren't going to be ones around me, but changes in myself. I can't depart too radically from the template, but i was told last week that there's some things i really should change, from several quarters. Maybe the first thing is that i should listen to people instead of blindly following my own path and seeing where it gets me?

Its like Sam Cooke said... (no, not, "I was born in a little tent")

Cuts and bruises

Its been a pretty eventful week. Well, not hugely eventful, but enough has happened to warrant mention here. I'm surprised I can actually process the information considering how frazzled my brain is due to complicated rhythmnic structures, testing circumstances and draining rehearsals, as well as nights out that should have been avoided.
This facility for writing is useful as the few people who read it can keep up with what i'm doing who don't get to see me that often or I don't speak to much. In that regard, its pretty handy, people can get a little bite-sized glimpse at what's going on. So i'll try and avoid pseudo-intellectual analysis of huge existential issues (even though i've had at least one deeply involved conversation on the matter this week) and instead focus on the facts.
Things I did this week.

Band practice with Fifty Caliber Smile on monday where we recorded the demos for the tracks which are to be included on our next EP. Our previous EP had 3 full band, balls to the wall rock tracks and a pair of simple acoustic numbers. This time round we're aiming for 5 full band tracks which are more epic in scale and scope with interesting arrangements. The demos were tight and sound like a good means to solidify what we want to achieve.

Tuesday night, further demo action with the Kirstyn Knowles band, a more stressful affair than i'm used to with that particular group. A song we wrote collectively required a new middle 8 before demo-ing which proved a chore, but the rewards were clear to see when we finished it. We also demo'd the formative stages of a tune i'd come up with the main musical part for so it was rewarding to hear that reach something resembling a structure. It should be done within a week.

Wednesday held work and a night out. One was slightly more enjoyable than the other and for fairly obvious reasons. IE, at work i'm by myself and don't have to face large groups of people. I wasn't hungover yesterday but i did feel seriously bleak for most of the day. Fortunately, an evening spent writing complex rhythmnic arrangements for a Fifty Caliber Smile tune was pretty full on and took my mind off things.

And today, i have work. Kicking off at 5 and on til midnight, working at some point over the next 4 days every day. Thankfully, i happen to quite like the place I work and enjoy being there, regardless of what people may say.

Cuts and bruises? The cuts are pretty self explanatory, i got on the wrong side of a beer bottle on sunday, proving i was unable to open it. Nice.
Bruises? Well, they go hand in hand with cuts. Seemed like a nice title.

Patterns

I have to write and work quickly. I'm not going anywhere and i don't have anything more pressing to do, save for maybe putting fresh strings on my SG, but I have to write quickly to get all the ideas straining at the tethers inside my head into some fixed form.

Because i've been thinking about patterns.

Patterns fascinate me. I like things being in a form, no matter how disparate or intangible it may at first seem. I'm preoccupied with our own place within patterns and how we fit into systems that are not of our own design. Although i'm not exactly a devoutly religious person, whenever i've considered the notion of creation, my favourite theory (though not one i staunchly believe in) its that of a creator with a design. Its my favourite because we're then able to marry the notion of the big bang with the religious idea of God being the impetus behind said bang of bigness which then led to a PATTERN for the genesis of all that came beyond. That's pretty cool. As i've said before, there are wiser men than I who can ruminate upon the human condition and how we behave as a species, but there's something captivating about our behaviour being taken out of our plans by some broader force, some guiding ideal that only creates for us the illusion that we are acting of our own volition. I guess to some degree we'd all like to hand over the reigns to the intangible to guarantee that for 5 minutes we could be absolved for our behaviours.

Even in the mundane world I'm starting to observe patterns. Its obvious that music is made up of patterns, but i've discovered a newfound superstition surrounding numbers this week. I've never had a lucky number, because despite my occasional belief that I'm sometimes part of somebody else's scheme, i believe i have some control over my destiny and ultimately my actions and therefore superstition has no place in my jurisdiction. However, the numbers pointed out to me as relevant were 2 and 3, obviously fairly common in their occurance and subsequent multitude BUT, the more you look the more you see them. I mean, there's ascending tricolons and triumverates and of course the double entendres and 2's company...

But even little things like my band, Fifty Caliber Smile's newest song..The Cycle (obviously, cycles being patterns in and of themselves) but the guitar parts are arranged in places in Triplets...groups of THREE notes crammed into the space of TWO.

Me? I was born on the 21st of the THIRD month...which i realised when mulling this issue over on the number THREE bus home.

Late 60s blues rock powerhouse Cream perform a cover of a song entitled Born Under A Bad Sign...which due to the array of threes arranged against me seems to be the case.

Its like sesame street...this blog was brought to you by the letter F and the numbers 2 and 3. The source of this numerically based superstition claims 2 to be a harmonious number and 3 to be dischordant...i'd hate to think that some association with 3 has tainted my very essence and i must forever be a black sheep...

Its weird that the band my colleague and friend Antonio introduced me today base their whole musical approach on numbers (Math-rock band Battles) as well as the irony found in the fact that the person who validated my decision to continue blogging my way is a subscriber to the axiom "life is long and things happen" : a topic which she and I have discussed at length, also in terms of cycles and circles and people passing in and out of one anothers' lives and re-instating each other in different capacities. I guess that's just part of my enjoyment of the notion of patterns, the inherent harmony that they breed. Its like monopoly, you must inevitably pass Go and find yourself in a familiar square. More than once i've looked around and felt i was back at square one...but new patterns are always forming and existing ones tend to shift. Kaleidoscopes, y'know?

Despite my pseudo-cod-philosophising on how things fit together, people should look around at the people they surround themselves with, the way their own behaviour makes their life go in circles, the situations they find themselves in. There's patterns in what we do, whether we chose to see or accept them. Personally, I accept them for what they are and sometimes take comfort in sometimes letting a cycle come back round again.

Its good to hand over the reigns from time to time.

Its good to pass go and collect £200...